By Shayla Simangele Dube-Mabaleka
Dear Fellow Zimbabweans, both on the continent and in the diaspora, Grief is a shared thread in the fabric of our lives, yet discussions around it—and mental health in general—are often absent in our communities. Many of us have not been equipped with the tools of emotional literacy or emotional regulation to navigate the complexities of grief and mental health challenges.
Today, I want to address this silence and offer reflections on grief, particularly as it relates to our Mthwakazi community in KwaBulawayo.
Understanding Grief in Our Context
Grief is the natural response to any significant loss. Importantly, you define what constitutes a significant loss—not society. Loss takes many forms, and it is as personal as it is universal. Our community has experienced profound cumulative grief in recent years. We have mourned the passing of icons such as:
• Baba Cont Mhlanga, a legend in the arts and film industry.
• Gogo Rose, a beloved community grandmother and activist.
• Baba Sihlangu Dlodlo, a cultural preservationist and activist.
• Baba Pathisa Nyathi, a historian affectionately known as a “walking encyclopedia.”
Each of these losses has left an indelible mark on our collective spirit. When we experience multiple losses before we have had the chance to process earlier ones, it compounds our sorrow.
Collective and Disenfranchised Grief
In our culture, we often grieve collectively, uniting to honor those who have touched our lives. However, grief is not always shared or understood by others. For example, we may mourn public figures, cultural icons, or even individuals we’ve never met. This experience, known as disenfranchised grief, can also arise from personal losses like divorce, miscarriages, or leaving an abusive relationship—events that are deeply felt but not always acknowledged by society.
The Stages of Grief: A Personal Journey
It’s important to remember that grief is not a linear process. Each person experiences it in their own way and time.
Here are the commonly recognized stages:
1. Denial: A period of shock and disbelief that buffers the immediate pain.
2. Anger: Feelings of frustration or helplessness may surface, often directed at oneself, others, or the loss itself.
3. Bargaining: Attempts to make sense of the loss through “What if?” or “If only…” reflections.
4. Depression: A time of deep sadness and reflection as the reality of the loss sets in.
5. Acceptance: Finding a way to live with the loss, honoring its memory while moving forward.Healing has no timeline, and the journey is deeply personal.
Coping with Grief: Practical Steps:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions.
2. Seek Support: Lean on friends, family, or community members who can empathize with your experience.
3. Engage in Rituals: Participate in memorials or create personal traditions to honor loved ones.
4. Practice Self-Care: Rest, nourish your body, and engage in activities that bring joy.
5. Be Patient: Healing is a gradual process that cannot be rushed.Grieving with UbuntuWe don’t “move on” from the loss of loved ones; we learn to coexist with grief.
As Zimbabweans, we carry the memories of those we’ve lost, cherishing their legacy in our hearts. Healing is not an isolated endeavor—it is a communal journey, grounded in Ubuntu.Let us support one another as we navigate grief and foster an open dialogue about mental health in our community. Together, we are stronger. Together, we heal.
With love, solidarity, and ubuntu,
Shayla Simangele Dube-MabalekaZimbo,Diasporan in Canada1
I
Sima is a Zimbabwean woman who was raised by her maternal grandparents in Dambashoko, a village where she experienced her first profound losses as an infant and toddler. She immigrated to Canada in 2004 to join her mother. A registered social worker since 2009, Sima is a dedicated mental health therapist, clinical supervisor mentoring fellow therapists, and part-time social work educator. She is passionate about integrating Ubuntu-centered African ways of knowing, being, and co-existing into her work, championing cultural pluralism, cognitive justice, and epistemic freedom while challenging Eurocolonial dominance in contemporary systems.
