Mothers have been encouraged to spend quality time with their children, engaging in simple activities like
going out for ice cream or visiting the park, to strengthen their bonds. This was expressed at a women’s round table meeting hosted by Amakhosikazi Media Southern Africa (AMSA) at Luveve Youth Centre on the 1st of November, 2024.
The event, which involved the screening of a film produced by Amakhosikazi Media, brought together 35 women from around Luveve, who engaged in meaningful discussions about the role of women in peacebuilding initiatives and social cohesion,
particularly focusing on the parent-girl-child relationship. The meeting highlighted the often-
significant misunderstandings between older and younger generations of women, regarding parenting and social
expectations.
The dialogue centred on the theme of parenting the girl child, featuring a film produced by Amakhosikazi Media, and an intergenerational exchange where both young and older women shared insights on addressing each other’s physical and
emotional needs. Contributions from participants reflected on the challenges of differing generational
perspectives.
One woman noted, “Our times or generations differ; nowadays, our children behave
differently. It’s a challenge to follow traditions, and aunts no longer play their roles like before.”
Participants acknowledged that while traditional methods of parenting once worked, contemporary
challenges require new approaches. As children reach adolescence, the need for understanding
becomes crucial. Participants emphasized the importance of correcting and guiding children from a
young age, rather than relying solely on elders for guidance. One woman remarked, “Show her the
way of the Lord. Send the child to Sunday school to avoid consequences later on.”
The older generation often clings to cultural expectations regarding how girls should conduct
themselves. For example, one participant expressed discomfort with her teenage daughter associating
with boys. The meeting underscored that beyond corporal punishment, children benefit more from an
understanding parenting style that fosters safety, peace, and open communication.
Economic challenges, such as the need to hustle for survival, were identified as barriers to spending
quality time with daughters. Such time is essential for building resilience and promoting peace.
Participants highlighted that strict parenting and poor communication—such as shouting or failing to
acknowledge children’s achievements—can lead to rebellion and risky behaviours, particularly among
girls since they are prevalently more vulnerable. The topic of sexual and reproductive health rights
remains taboo in many African households, yet one woman stated, “A parent’s voice is different from
that on social media; discussions about sex and relationships should be encouraged at between
parents and children.”
When asked about conversations around sex, only about 15% of the women admitted to discussing the topic with their
daughters. The meeting emphasized the need for parents to express affection and make their children
feel valued, which can help counter harmful behaviours influenced by peer pressure. Thus,
encouraging their development in various aspects of life.
Participants noted that forming close relationships with children reduces stress and encourages
openness. They encouraged both young and older women to engage in shared activities, such as doing
chores together or enjoying music, to strengthen their connections. Expressions of love, such as
saying “I love you” or showing physical affection, were described as rare or taboo in this community
and yet, were highlighted as much-needed.
Finally, the meeting stressed the importance of being involved in children’s friendships.
Understanding their peers helps parents assess whether those influences are positive or negative.
MaGumede (Luveve) shared that although the Luveve Youth Centre once offered numerous programs
for community development, attendance has diminished, as many families have come to expect
financial incentives to participate in meetings. Pretty Nxumalo, Programs Manager at Sunshine
Cinema, urged women, especially mothers, to advocate for youth programs that support their
children’s development, emphasizing that access to information is vital for growth and social
cohesion.
